When the going gets tough, do you get even tougher on yourself? Tearing yourself down with self-criticism or building yourself up with inflated self-esteem are two sure ways to prolong a hard time.
Be kind to yourself!!
It’s not about judging yourself positively, it’s relating to yourself kindly—whether you’re succeeding or failing. There are three pillars of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity and self-kindness.
If you’re endlessly ruminating about the last argument you had, chances are you’re not being mindful. It’s difficult to deal with your present situation when you’re getting carried away by the dramatic storyline of what’s upsetting you in youryou find yourself at work still going over the dialogue of your fight with your loved one, recognize that it’s upsetting you, and then focus on the present moment: that deadline you have coming up, the never ending list of tasks at work etc. You can address your concerns with a talk in person, rather than try to solve a problem from your desk at work.
Self-kindness is not only releasing self-judgment but also active self soothing.aside from forgiving yourself and not beating yourself up, go out of your way to reassure yourself and offer understanding and caring words.
Do you feel unworthy of kindness? How have you set your mind about your value and lovable-ness? Deep down, where it counts, how do you feel about yourself? What have you not forgiven yourself for? What prior experience is continuing to dominate your thoughts, beliefs and feelings – most likely without your conscious permission or attention?
Do you have these answers?