Self talk is the inner dialogue you have in your mind regarding everything you think about, do, wish or dream of. It could be related to people, places and things both real and imagined. A well–known author was quoted as saying that ‘The average person has 60,000 thoughts per day and of these more than 80% are negative’. 

Think back, how many times just today have you criticized, judged, scolded, mocked, or been unkind to yourself?  Now think about the impact this has on your mood, self-esteem, curiosity, and willingness to take risks, be bold, be brave?  And it doesn’t end there.  The danger is not just that we start to believe this dialogue, it’s also that since most of the time we don’t even realize we are having it, we are even more susceptible to its power and fallacies.

“I think I can. I think I can.” We all know mantras can be helpful in reaching goals. Whether it’s powering through a plateau to lose those last 10 pounds or pushing yourself to get through the last mile of that 5k, for fitness and weight loss, positive self-talk can be essential.

So what to do?

Firstly identify the negative thing you say to yourself everyday without knowing. Be aware, listen to your thoughts. So often the fears we have that create the negative self-talk are a result of what we fear will happen in the future – “I’ll be laughed at”, “I’ll get my heart-broken”, “I’ll be rejected”, etc. And while it is admirable to plan ahead, in this type of a situation, focus on the present moment. Focus on the person you want to project yourself as. Focus on helping the current moment be the best it can be. Yes, there may be moments when the best thing you can do is leave because you are that uncomfortable, but instead of storming off in a huff and causing a scene or hoping it will change if you do cause a scene (which it most likely won’t and not in a beneficial way for you, politely remove yourself.

Sounds Good? Please share your ideas for self talk in the comments. Looking forward to reading and implementing them in my life as well!!

 

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28 thoughts on “Daily Dose of Inspiration – Self Talk”

  2. I think this is solid advice, and it accords well with Buddhist teachings. Just being aware of all the stuff going through your head is the start of virtually every meditation discipline.

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    1. Thank you Paul. Glad you liked it. The problem with our self-talk is that we tend not to question the accuracy of what we tell ourselves, we just listen to the negative statements day in, day out — swallowing them whole. Eventually we end up believing these thoughts even if they do now hold a modicum of truth or if they do hold some truth, we blow the situation out of proportion.

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      1. The truth is I try to use My talking to myself to change how I deal with things before I act. I walk around having these convo’s with myself. They aren’t always negative to positive sometimes it’s a conversation about how blessed I am and how amazed I am at the power of the human spirit! My thoughts are usually positive.

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  5. Good stuff. As you mentioned, the first thing is becoming aware of our thoughts. This can be hard as they are habitual and thus automatic.

    Once you become aware of the negative thought then you have to challenge it and substitute it with a positive thought. It takes 5 positive thoughts to overcome the 1 negative thought. That’s because negative thinking is ingrained into us by society. We love to hear bad news and hear the negative gossip about so and so.

    Let the positivity commence. 👍

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    1. I totally agree with you. The first step in changing negative thought patterns is to become keenly aware of these thoughts. Usually they appear just below conscious awareness, but with time and practice we can recognize them. As we start to tune into our internal self talk and listen to what we are saying to ourselves we can start to identify these thoughts as they arise. Once identified, we can challenge their accuracy. Thank you for this perspective.
      Regards

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  8. A good read. Very insightful. I sadly have a running monologue of negativity running through my head on a daily basis. I know i have a sane voice as it were in their too, but the negative voice is so loud and powerful that i cannot listen to anything else but this voice. I believe everything it says…….. It is literally destroying my life…………

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    1. We all have that inner voice Matt. But here are a few useful steps for you. The steps include:
      Step One: Identifying What Your Critical Inner Voice is Telling You. Step Two: Recognizing Where Your Voices Come From.
      Step Three: Responding to Your Critical Inner Voice.
      Step Four: Understanding How Your Voices Influence Your Behavior.
      Step Five: Changing Your Self-Limiting Behaviors.

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  11. For several years I facilitated Lou Tice’s workshops, Investment in Excellence. Lou offered this excellent advice for dealing with that negative self talk we often launch when we’ve screwed up something badly. You know that “I’m so stupid!” self talk. He suggested turning it around by learning from the mistake by saying, “That’s not like me, the next time I’ll (here insert how you’ll prevent the problem in the future.).”
    Thanks for your post. We are often our own worst enemy where we should be our own best friend.
    Jerry

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    1. Thanks Jerry for sharing this wonderful insight. Self-talk is often skewed towards the negative, and sometimes it’s just plain wrong. If you are experiencing depression, it is particularly likely that you interpret things negatively. That’s why it’s useful to keep an eye on the things you tell yourself, and challenge some of the negative aspects of your thinking.

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  12. Hi Empress,

    So true. I find thoughts hit me all the time. Do you find as a writer that as great ideas come into your mind, so do negative thoughts trying to piggy back?

    It seems like the more we delve into things that encourage people the more the negativity hits. I find it is good to understand the realities of battle so we don’t let our rotten thoughts rule our minds.

    Thanks for the info about how much energy goes into our thoughts. Like time and money we have to manage it.

    Thanks,

    Gary

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