I don’t know what it means to feel anymore.

I want to feel love. I want to feel excitement. I want to feel happiness where I can throw my head back and laugh completely. Life has become a vicious task of interacting with people for the sake of social integration. I can’t seem to stay interested in things people do or say. I started on the quest of finding my own passions, but nothing seems too interesting anymore, like the zest for life that used to be there just kinda vanished. Almost everything is only interesting for a few instances, and then becomes boring and monotonous.

Even MAJOR life events don’t seem to register the same feeling they once did. Looking at fancy cars don’t bring in the same joy. Emotional turbulence, Maybe? Anxiety, hell YES. That constant jittery feeling in the centre just below the chest, hmmm.

I want to feel emotions again, but at the moment nothing will set me off. People say take it easy. Can’t do, the anxiety is killing. 

Should happiness or pleasure be the desires in life? I mean look around you, who is happy anyways, maybe they are all faking it at some level. I just hope whatever it is, this phase, it passes soon. 

Do you feel like that too? 

 

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39 thoughts on “Feel It..Can You?

  1. Change is the only constant, when you are happy you don’t concentrate on the time that passes but are busy experiencing the pleasures but In sadness you tend to look at the clock more often …it stretches the time, indulge into something that you love….focus on changing your thoughts and the world around you changes

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Here’s my question, why judge?
        Life is fluid, life is simple, life is meant to be fun. If it’s not then you are not doing justice to yourself.
        Ask yourself. Did I choose to be sad? If ur answer is yes …. U know u can change it

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I think we all feel this way at one time or another. And I see a lot of unhappy people out there. We tend to look for things outside of ourselves for feelings of happiness and being complete, but we should really look inside. No material objects will bring true happiness. And the mundane parts of life can really be a grind. Find the things you’re passionate about. Travel if you can. Even a short trip to break the everyday routine is great. If we’re fortunate enough to meet some beautiful soul along the way to spend time with, well, that’s pretty amazing 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  3. I do know what you mean. Although, my emotional challenge came after a several year stretch of anxiety. My lack of emotions only lasted a couple of months. What helped me was signing up with a local writer’s group, leading music with an ensemble of children, getting involved with a music group and got my old band back together. It’s impossible for me to “find love.” I’m not sure anyone would have me. But I’ve decided to not let that take away my life. The groups I’ve preformed music with have given me more smiles than I can remember, in recent years. I’m nervous about the writer’s group. I’m not sure why I’m worried. But I know it’s the right thing. I understand what you are saying by them “faking it.” Society is really… odd. I don’t know if I can come up with any solid conclusions, but tend to agree. I think we have no choice but to play, pretend, like we did as children. I don’t know, but I think so. Why not? In some ways, I think humanity may outgrow society. In which case, we’ll need to come up with better ways of spending our lives than carry a clock.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Deep feelings. Thank you for sharing because I know it takes a lot to take a dive in the darkest corner of your thoughts. Don’t be too anxious about the writers group. You will be okay as your articulate your thoughts and ideas pretty well. Thank you again for stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I would see a doctor to see if you have an inbalance? It might be corrected with some slight tweaking of nutrients/vitamins/minerals? Medicine if needed. I know exercise is said to elevate mood swings. Eating right. But, I rarely do either of those (and I should) and the only thing that truly keeps me happy continually, is going to church, and reading the word of God…and knowing that Jesus has plans for me. I can’t imagine what it feels to have continual BLAHS or downright depression. Just know, You are never alone. You matter.
    And the blogging world will always provide you a community.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I know just what you mean. I remember thinking, I may never be at ease again, but in about 3 months, that time, it got better. I just accepted where I was and went forward. Another time it happened, in a less severe way, but a doctor asked me when the last time was that I relaxed and I said “three years”. It was as if admitting I felt that released me from its chains. I predict you are about to turn the corner.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve been in your shoes. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I was diagnosed in the summer of 2015, and getting that diagnosis was such a significance for me. I felt a huge weight lift from me – I finally had “an answer.” It resolved a lot of questions that I had, and I was able to complete my counseling sessions.

    Everyone has their own story. Everyone goes through waves and cycles. I have developed a series of coping mechanisms (Writing, reading, American Girl dolls, etc.), and a wonderful support system to handle my anxiety, and I have been so much more at peace in the last three years.

    I believe that you writing this post is a good sign. Admitting feelings and struggles is so hard! But, I can tell that you have a lot of love and support from the comments here. If you want to talk more, you can find my email address on my Contact page. Hugs and love!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Should happiness or pleasure be the desires in life?

    -No,
    For me Satisfaction is the basic ingredients for the the perfect taste of life.

    And The bitter truth is time is the only thing which you can’t control so don’t let it pass live it full.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Haven’t I been leaving you some likes. Sorry if not. Lack of time has caused me to delete more of my e-mains than I used to. I’m getting too many to handle every day. I’m trying to get everybody a couple times a week. Anyway it’s good to hear from you today. Sorry about the “down” time for you. You have many who care. Hugs.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I felt that way the entire year. Then I discovered I love to write. It saved me. I love myself again and am filled with hope. Find your passion and focus on you and your own happiness. It’s the little things 🙌🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi Empress,

    Been there. No fun, but definitely a place in our life that helped me grow. Emotions are fickle things and can’t always be a consistent gage to count on. I have often hit emotional lows after emotional highs. Funny, right, but it makes sense. It’s any many ways, in my opinion, God’s ways of keeping us grounded.

    Often I have to be reminded that how I take in the circumstances I am in have to be with the spirit first then the rest of me mentally, emotionally, etc. One part of our complex character should not effect me so much that my persepective gets out of whack. It is a life-long learning process.

    Hope you get some encouraging responses.

    Gary

    Liked by 1 person

  10. There are levels of happiness any human can feel at any time. If for some reason the feeling is lost, the moments aren’t savored, or the thoughts escape, it’s most likely that the opposite is a more consistent feeling. I would suggest that if you feel happiness, even momentarily, focus on those moments and find a way to gain more of those experiences.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. After some life experience, I feel happiness is elusive. There are moments of finding comfort, contentedness and this brings a sort of happiness because there is ease. But I think I would prefer feeling joy more than happiness. An intensity that dulls the bad but still leaves us feeling good. Nice post. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I don’t think “faking” is so bad. I’m a fan of that old quote that says “Fake it till you make it”. Sometimes we don’t need to wait to feel good or happy – we’ve got to fake ourselves into it.
    Everyone’s got their dark corners. Sometimes you have to push yourselves into doing what you love and having so much fun, you forget the dark places.
    But when they do come. Then don’t run from it. Life shouldn’t be a monologue. Sometimes we have to let ourselves feel the depression, just for a little while – and slowly, we purge it. We make new thoughts, happy thoughts. Listen to great music. And write. Write everything. Play with every emotion we can call up at that moment. And when the time comes to feel, you get and go have fun. You didn’t run from the nightmares. Now it’s time to have fun with your dreams. That what I do.
    Great writing. I liked it.

    Liked by 1 person

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