There could be all sorts of different situations in our life when the time comes and we feel that we are about to give up. Sometimes we give up before we even started doing something new. Sometimes we give up just before making this huge breakthrough to success just because we saw how much effort should go through in order to succeed and it can really scare us. Don’t give up beforehand! Everything Is Possible.
You want to change, but you don’t know what to do. I have a suggestion for you. Dare yourself to do something you fear. Take that first step no matter how scary it is. You may not have a clear picture of where you want to go, but just start moving. Don’t stand still, unless you are actively taking time to be still. Start from where you are and do something. It’s simple, right? Still doubting?
Why are we afraid of silence?! Why does it become overwhelming when we are alone and there is no voice around?! Why do we want to keep ourselves busy all the time?! Isn’t the soul of human beings, the soul of the universe or whatever power it is that’s running the earth and its resources present in this “silence”?! Then why are we running away from something that we eventually have to become a part of?!
Well the above few lines clearly define what being alone and silence does to me. It causes chaos in my mind, it causes bewilderment! But the good part of it is that it forces me to find a reason to get over it, because hey, it’s Monday tomorrow and I have to be focused at work.
So, I figured out reason for why we are scared of silence or rather why I am (to be precise):
I am scared of my thoughts. Noise is my escape, I am running away from memories which I don’t want to remember, or things I can’t forget or memories I had forgotten until I remember them. Things which have no relevance in my life today.
So now that we have the diagnosis, we need to start the treatment.
1. Breathe and be mindful of it – Well till today my dad asks me to meditate on my breathing everyday for a few minutes to keep my sanity alive (parents can tell when their kids are crazy). And I say I will do it, but I don’t. Sorry Daddy! But here I am today, bringing sanity into my life right here. I just being aware of where I am.
2. Listen to it..the silence. Look beyond the chaos. Well I would like to think myself as a marvel comic hero (like Flash or Iron Man, only female) and think that my superpowers will be activated if I can look beyond the chaos of my thoughts. Everyone has their own fantasies, this is mine. Period! What I mean is that think of something that you most dearly want and imagine that thing is beyond this cloud of these troubling thoughts. Now your efforts depend upon how madly you want that “thing” you want.
3. You only going to make it worse. I am sure you have heard or read this one before, where overthinking leads to situations which were not even there in the first place. Write them down, cry, say sorry to yourself for things you did wrong, but get over it. It’s in the past. Those thoughts have no right whatsoever to hurt you anymore. Let bygones be bygones. Trust me this step takes a lot of courage. And it takes even more courage and planning to do things differently in the future as these thoughts are stubborn and they will haunt you again.
I would like to thank “Aroo – a sense of bewilderment” today as this made me think what my thoughts are doing to me….they are “wasting my time“.! So what’s your escape??
I am an unrealistic Optimist….??!!….Yes I am and I am proud of it. I get ridiculed often times (actually all the time) and my dear ones try to protect me in any way possible from going overboard in my thoughts and actions. So, from the normal reality of my present life to what one should do to live in this society, such realities are pushed into my brain in a hope that sense would prevail and I would (like everyone else) get into the mode of living a “normal sane life”and tread the path that many before me have followed. But then that little voice inside me, that spark of creativity playfully like a child smiles and tells me “We will make it one day,Girl!! Hold on!!.
I know you must be thinking, “Yea, we got the voice too but we got to go to work tomorrow & everyday for the good part of our lives, work hard, earn money, pay off loans, and dream of a brighter future for our kids”. Well, I say I am no different, I will go to work too, juggle with people, spring in a new idea to my boss and try to get a raise. But hey, how long can you really keep up with that?! Be honest to yourself if not to anyone else.
We all have an alter reality, a creativity which keeps on reminding us of “what ifs?”. No, they aren’t distractions, they are who we really are!!
Now, I am not saying give up your jobs and pursue your passions. We are all scared of doing something different, of…failing..but we are missing out on the experiences our creativity has to offer. Don’t give up on it! Pursue it everyday in any tiny way possible. Nothing is impossible until we give up on it. Make SMART goals for your passions too. Who knows where they will lead us. Have courage, have patience, have faith.
In a world where emotional intelligence and mindfulness are the main topics of all mainstream trainings and workshops, we are bombarded with too many tools, which leave us puzzled. I often think after listening to a podcast or reading an article, that ok, I read a book and I feel my confidence is up but what are the practical steps I can practice everyday. I have tried affirmations, meditation etc., but I needed something which I could anytime like while walking, travelling, listening etc. I gather that it doesn’t have to be difficult if we start small and keep it simple. So, I sought the most common activity that I do in a day, which is “Interacting with people” and I thought how can I be mindful or increase my “EQ” while listening and talking?
Here are few tips that I came up with which might help you to be present whether is it while talking to someone or simply listening to someone:
- Do not multi-task – Give the person your full, undivided attention. Most of the people today complain of the other person does not hear them properly, they are either busy on their phones, or typing on their laptops or simply appearing to be not-interesting (rude!!)
- Recap or Summarize what the person is sharing – Always remember to summarize what the person just told you. It will solve two purposes, one that you will have to give your undivided attention to him/her (step 1) to understand and secondly once you summarize correctly, the person will trust you with more information.
- WAIT !! – Yes, stop and think about the person’s query or discussion topic before forming opinions or giving rehearsed answers. Don’t worry, person will appreciate if you will take a pause and answer him what he wants to know or simply know your opinion.
- Breathe – Simple, isn’t it. Remember to breathe as it brings your focus to what’s most important at that moment – which is? – The person in front of you.
So, what so you think? Are they easy enough for you? Please share your thoughts!!
Ok, so before you get your knickers in a twist by the baffling tagline, please stay with me because the word UNATTRACTIVE has nothing to do with looks or appearances.
Great! Thank you.
Everyone wants to be a likeable person. Even the most introvert of people who like to quietly watch the crowd from a dark corner and be amused or jealous want to be known as “not a bad person”. But then sometimes, even without knowing, we tend to do things that make us unattractive as a person so much so that people won’t even want to be near us. So lets look at such unattractive characteristics:
- You are Rude – Plain & simple. Now you might be working hard to save the world which is giving you unwanted anxiety and keeping you at edge or you might be frustrated with your life (Yea life is sad sometimes for everyone, you’re no exception) that you want to snap at everyone and anyone, but my friend that is making you unattractive. People can’t see what you can see, all they see is that you are impolite, offensive and other synonyms for impolite and offensive.
- You are always Negative – Please note, there is a thin line between positive criticism and pessimism. Criticism can only come from someone who has been in your position or has experience in the area. I mean to put it plainly it should look like an invaluable feedback and not as downright rejection. Criticism is advice, pessimism is hitting the self esteem which my dear is not appreciated by anyone.
- You are never Wrong – Ahh..the ego boost that this sentence gives you..I know that feeling..Guilty. But the reality is that you are nothing but delusional. You can be wrong sometimes and the wiser alternative would be to either accept it or be quiet and not defend it, because if you do it would lead to more drama which will make you more Unattractive. It’s ok not to have the last say in an argument. Think about it and see yourself.
- You are Controlling – My favourite one. Subtle controlling is like a personal brand of heroin for Unattractive people. They usually take the passive aggressive route where people will be angry with you but they won’t be able to express it, which leaves you to do whatever you want. These people kill your self confidence, make you question your values, demoralise and so on and so forth. (I am already feeling unhealthy thinking such thoughts…tsk)
I am sure you all must have related this post to a particular person or maybe thinking about the times when you have behaved in some way or the other to express your Unattractiveness to others. My request to you is please stop strangulating others if you are an unattractive person as at the end of the time, you will be only man standing..like LITERALLY ALONE…!!!!!!!
Things I wish for in life are developing some habits which will improve my today and tomorrow drastically.
“I always wanted to be someone better the next day than I was the day before.” ~Sidney Poitier
Enough of wishing I guess, so I solemnly swear that I am upto no good..oh!!..I mean I intend to do the following rituals in w.e.f. 8th September 2015.
- Read one book every week. It could be anything from Harry Potter, Fifty Shades of Grey series to Blink, Outliers or Drive. Just finish one book like a good girl every week.
- Write one post everyday. Yes. Good, thoughtful content to get the writing mills working.
- Laugh everyday. 😀
- Learn to say NO. Be Ruthless
- Not use my phone for a day in a week. Yikes, but have to do it.
- Sit quietly for sometime everyday
- Save money. Stop spending unnecessary money
- Be grateful for 6 things everyday
- Compliment one person everyday (a genuine one, have to stay true to myself)
- Be OK with imperfection. Be satisfied and happy with what I have.
Well, this is my list of good habits. Do you have one yet?