Feel It..Can You?

FeaturedFeel It..Can You?

I don’t know what it means to feel anymore.

I want to feel love. I want to feel excitement. I want to feel happiness where I can throw my head back and laugh completely. Life has become a vicious task of interacting with people for the sake of social integration. I can’t seem to stay interested in things people do or say. I started on the quest of finding my own passions, but nothing seems too interesting anymore, like the zest for life that used to be there just kinda vanished. Almost everything is only interesting for a few instances, and then becomes boring and monotonous.

Even MAJOR life events don’t seem to register the same feeling they once did. Looking at fancy cars don’t bring in the same joy. Emotional turbulence, Maybe? Anxiety, hell YES. That constant jittery feeling in the centre just below the chest, hmmm.

I want to feel emotions again, but at the moment nothing will set me off. People say take it easy. Can’t do, the anxiety is killing. 

Should happiness or pleasure be the desires in life? I mean look around you, who is happy anyways, maybe they are all faking it at some level. I just hope whatever it is, this phase, it passes soon. 

Do you feel like that too? 

 

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Aroo..!!

Aroo..!!

Why are we afraid of silence?! Why does it become overwhelming when we are alone and there is no voice around?! Why do we want to keep ourselves busy all the time?! Isn’t the soul of human beings, the soul of the universe or whatever power it is that’s running the earth and its resources present in this “silence”?! Then why are we running away from something that we eventually have to become a part of?! 

Well the above few lines clearly define what being alone and silence does to me. It causes chaos in my mind, it causes bewilderment! But the good part of it is that it forces me to find a reason to get over it, because hey, it’s Monday tomorrow and I have to be focused at work. 

So, I figured out reason for why we are scared of silence or rather why I am (to be precise): 

I am scared of my thoughts. Noise is my escape, I am running away from memories which I don’t want to remember, or things I can’t forget or memories I had forgotten until I remember them. Things which have no relevance in my life today. 

So now that we have the diagnosis, we need to start the treatment. 

1. Breathe and be mindful of it – Well till today my dad asks me to meditate on my breathing everyday for a few minutes to keep my sanity alive (parents can tell when their kids are crazy). And I say I will do it, but I don’t. Sorry Daddy! But here I am today, bringing sanity into my life right here. I just being aware of where I am.

2. Listen to it..the silence. Look beyond the chaos. Well I would like to think myself as a marvel comic hero (like Flash or Iron Man, only female) and think that my superpowers will be activated if I can look beyond the chaos of my thoughts. Everyone has their own fantasies, this is mine. Period! What I mean is that think of something that you most dearly want and imagine that thing is beyond this cloud of these troubling thoughts. Now your efforts depend upon how madly you want that “thing” you want. 

3. You only going to make it worse. I am sure you have heard or read this one before, where overthinking leads to situations which were not even there in the first place. Write them down, cry, say sorry to yourself  for things you did wrong, but get over it. It’s in the past. Those thoughts have no right whatsoever  to hurt you anymore. Let bygones be bygones. Trust me this step takes a lot of courage. And it takes even more courage and planning to do things differently in the future as these thoughts are stubborn and they will haunt you again. 

I would like to thank “Aroo – a sense of bewilderment” today as this made me think what my thoughts are doing to me….they are “wasting my time“.! So what’s your escape??

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Are you really listening to what I am saying?

Are you really listening to what I am saying?

In a world where emotional intelligence and mindfulness are the main topics of all mainstream trainings and workshops, we are bombarded with too many tools, which leave us puzzled. I often think after listening to a podcast or reading an article, that ok, I read a book and I feel my confidence is up but what are the practical steps I can practice everyday. I have tried affirmations, meditation etc., but I needed something which I could anytime like while walking, travelling, listening etc. I gather that it doesn’t have to be difficult if we start small and keep it simple. So, I sought the most common activity that I do in a day, which is “Interacting with people” and I thought how can I be mindful or increase my “EQ” while listening and talking?

Here are few tips that I came up with which might help you to be present whether is it while talking to someone or simply listening to someone:

  • Do not multi-task – Give the person your full, undivided attention. Most of the people today complain of the other person does not hear them properly, they are either busy on their phones, or typing on their laptops or simply appearing to be not-interesting (rude!!)
  • Recap or Summarize what the person is sharing – Always remember to summarize what the person just told you. It will solve two purposes, one that you will have to give your undivided attention to him/her (step 1) to understand and secondly once you summarize correctly, the person will trust you with more information.
  • WAIT !! – Yes, stop and think about the person’s query or discussion topic before forming opinions or giving rehearsed answers. Don’t worry, person will appreciate if you will take a pause and answer him what he wants to know or simply know your opinion.
  • Breathe – Simple, isn’t it. Remember to breathe as it brings your focus to what’s most important at that moment – which is? – The person in front of you.

So, what so you think? Are they easy enough for you? Please share your thoughts!!