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I am an unrealistic Optimist….??!!….Yes I am and I am proud of it. I get ridiculed often times (actually all the time) and my dear ones try to protect me in any way possible from going overboard in my thoughts and actions. So, from the normal reality of my present life to what one should do to live in this society, such realities are pushed into my brain in a hope that sense would prevail and I would (like everyone else) get into the mode of living a “normal sane life”and tread the path that many before me have followed. But then that little voice inside me, that spark of creativity playfully like a child smiles and tells me “We will make it one day,Girl!! Hold on!!.

I know you must be thinking, “Yea, we got the voice too but we got to go to work tomorrow & everyday for the good part of our lives, work hard, earn money, pay off loans, and dream of a brighter future for our kids”. Well, I say I am no different, I will go to work too, juggle with people, spring in a new idea to my boss and try to get a raise. But hey, how long can you really keep up with that?! Be honest to yourself if not to anyone else.

We all have an alter reality, a creativity which keeps on reminding us of “what ifs?”. No, they aren’t distractions, they are who we really are!!

Now, I am not saying give up your jobs and pursue your passions. We are all scared of doing something different, of…failing..but we are missing out on the experiences our creativity has to offer. Don’t give up on it! Pursue it everyday in any tiny way possible. Nothing is impossible until we give up on it. Make SMART goals for your passions too. Who knows where they will lead us. Have courage, have patience, have faith.

Image Credits: inspirational-quotes-to-ignite-your-inner-courage-creativity-and-courage

 

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Are you really listening to what I am saying?

Are you really listening to what I am saying?

In a world where emotional intelligence and mindfulness are the main topics of all mainstream trainings and workshops, we are bombarded with too many tools, which leave us puzzled. I often think after listening to a podcast or reading an article, that ok, I read a book and I feel my confidence is up but what are the practical steps I can practice everyday. I have tried affirmations, meditation etc., but I needed something which I could anytime like while walking, travelling, listening etc. I gather that it doesn’t have to be difficult if we start small and keep it simple. So, I sought the most common activity that I do in a day, which is “Interacting with people” and I thought how can I be mindful or increase my “EQ” while listening and talking?

Here are few tips that I came up with which might help you to be present whether is it while talking to someone or simply listening to someone:

  • Do not multi-task – Give the person your full, undivided attention. Most of the people today complain of the other person does not hear them properly, they are either busy on their phones, or typing on their laptops or simply appearing to be not-interesting (rude!!)
  • Recap or Summarize what the person is sharing – Always remember to summarize what the person just told you. It will solve two purposes, one that you will have to give your undivided attention to him/her (step 1) to understand and secondly once you summarize correctly, the person will trust you with more information.
  • WAIT !! – Yes, stop and think about the person’s query or discussion topic before forming opinions or giving rehearsed answers. Don’t worry, person will appreciate if you will take a pause and answer him what he wants to know or simply know your opinion.
  • Breathe – Simple, isn’t it. Remember to breathe as it brings your focus to what’s most important at that moment – which is? – The person in front of you.

So, what so you think? Are they easy enough for you? Please share your thoughts!!

Am sorry..but you are UNATTRACTIVE..!!

Am sorry..but you are UNATTRACTIVE..!!

Ok, so before you get your knickers in a twist by the baffling tagline, please stay with me because the word UNATTRACTIVE has nothing to do with looks or appearances.

Still there?

Great! Thank you.

Everyone wants to be a likeable person. Even the most introvert of people who like to quietly watch the crowd from a dark corner and be amused or jealous want to be known as  “not a bad person”. But then sometimes, even without knowing, we tend to do things that make us unattractive as a person so much so that people won’t even want to be near us. So lets look at such unattractive characteristics:

  1. You are Rude – Plain & simple. Now you might be working hard to save the world which is giving you unwanted anxiety and keeping you at edge or you might be frustrated with your life (Yea life is sad sometimes for everyone, you’re no exception) that you want to snap at everyone and anyone, but my friend that is making you unattractive. People can’t see what you can see, all they see is that you are impolite, offensive and other synonyms for impolite and offensive.
  2. You are always Negative – Please note, there is a thin line between positive criticism and pessimism. Criticism can only come from someone who has been in your position or has experience in the area. I mean to put it plainly it should look like an invaluable feedback and not as downright rejection. Criticism is advice, pessimism is hitting the self esteem which my dear is not appreciated by anyone.
  3. You are never Wrong – Ahh..the ego boost that this sentence gives you..I know that feeling..Guilty.  But the reality is that you are nothing but delusional. You can be wrong sometimes and the wiser alternative would be to either accept it or be quiet and not defend it, because if you do it would lead to more drama which will make you more Unattractive. It’s ok not to have the last say in an argument. Think about it and see yourself.
  4. You are Controlling – My favourite one. Subtle controlling is like a personal brand of heroin for Unattractive people. They usually take the passive aggressive route where people will be angry with you but they won’t be able to express it, which leaves you to do whatever you want. These people kill your self confidence, make you question your values, demoralise and so on and so forth. (I am already feeling unhealthy thinking such thoughts…tsk)

I am sure you all must have related this post to a particular person or maybe thinking about the times when you have behaved in some way or the other to express your Unattractiveness to others. My request to you is please stop strangulating others if you are an unattractive person as at the end of the time, you will be only man standing..like LITERALLY ALONE…!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Things I wish

Things I wish

Things I wish for in life are developing some habits which will improve my today and tomorrow drastically.

“I always wanted to be someone better the next day than I was the day before.” ~Sidney Poitier

Enough of wishing I guess, so I solemnly swear that I am upto no good..oh!!..I mean I intend to do the following rituals in w.e.f. 8th September 2015.

  1. Read one book every week. It could be anything from Harry Potter, Fifty Shades of Grey series to Blink, Outliers or Drive. Just finish one book like a good girl every week.
  2. Write one post everyday. Yes. Good, thoughtful content to get the writing mills working.
  3. Laugh everyday. 😀
  4. Learn to say NO. Be Ruthless
  5. Not use my phone for a day in a week. Yikes, but have to do it.
  6. Sit quietly for sometime everyday
  7. Save money. Stop spending unnecessary money
  8. Be grateful for 6 things everyday
  9. Compliment one person everyday (a genuine one, have to stay true to myself)
  10. Be OK with imperfection. Be satisfied and happy with what I have.

Well, this is my list of good habits. Do you have one yet?

Procrastination – A barrier to success…!!!!

Procrastination – A barrier to success…!!!!

Procrastination is an Art..Yes it is!! Its the art of doing things which are less important instead of doing things which are more important. Like take an example of right now, as you are reading this blog, isn’t there anything that you are supposed to do instead which is more urgent? But now since your are here and I am glad you are reading my blog (Thank you!!), lets talk about how we can get our tasks (both urgent and non-urgent) done on time.

First off, you are not alone. There are many people around the world who procrastinate every minute. I mean no one is perfect. Even super heroes in movies take out time to kiss the girl they like or sneak a glance when they should be rather saving the world and catching the bad guys!! (I wanted to use a real life example but I didn’t want to hurt sentiments of people or communities). But do we want to be one amongst the crowd? Or do we want to stand out? Don’t all of us crave that moment of glory (can be both inward or outward) where you find yourself doing what others haven’t figured out yet? Well, if you do, lets find out how we can deal with this thing called “Procrastination”.

1. Stop lying to yourself – Yes, you don’t have time. Time is precious and it is running out, so if you have an exam coming or if you are planning to clear your wardrobe or drawers, do it NOW!! Don’t put off things for tomorrow because tomorrow you will have more urgent things to do. If some work has presented itself to you this instant, then do it now, not later.

2. Don’t over burden yourself – Now when I say that you need to start working NOW…I don’t mean that you have to finish the task right now. Break the tasks into smaller parts, complete a small chunk of the task everyday. Make sure the parts are more or less equal so that you don’t feel burdened and hence lose interest and hence keep the tasks for later and again get trapped in the vicious cycle of procrastination. You see where I am coming from?

3. First do what you do best – Once you have divided the task into smaller chunks, start the task with what you like the most. Like if you have to clear your wardrobe, pick whatever section you like most, for example you could start with the jewellery drawer, or the scarves hook or your socks and handkerchief section or maybe the bags section. So start with the section which interests you the most and keep you hooked on the job. When you are done with your favourite part, the other chunks will be a cake walk..!!

4. Take away the distractions – Take you phone, tablets/iPad, laptops or anything else that will not let you focus on the job at hand and keep it away in some place where they are not visible. I am so hooked to my phone that sometimes, I just start moving towards my phone in the middle of doing something else as if I am in a trance state where the phone has put a spell on me to go and check it every 5 minutes!! My point here is focus on the job at hand, finish it and then go and do whatever it is you have to do. “I solemnly swear that I shall do that myself :D”

Procrastination is a habit, and a bad one. In order to change any habit, we have to trick our brain in doing something different. And when you do that, your brain won’t be happy, you won’t be happy, but “You got to do what you got to do”, there is no running away folks, this is what it is. So the choice as always is yours. I hope you make the right one. Take care.

Image Courtesy : https://www.flickr.com/photos/thomasleuthard/10891456256/sizes/m/